WHY DA FUCK I GOTTA TIP ??
The ending is nsfw but I suggest you watch the whole thing. listen heffer, if you don’t have enough to tip, eat at your own motherfucking house.
Hilarious responses:
1000th post! Sex Panther Cologne, 60% Of The Time, It Works All The Time!
Missed Connections: Cuddling Institute of Philadelphia
Winter is just a few weeks away. Do you have the cuddle skills needed to escape the seemingly endless fog, rain, snow and endless supply of frat boys hitting on you in the bars? My cuddle instructional program will teach you the skills you need to find and keep quality men through your superior cuddling skills. Your new cuddle confidence will leave you beaming!
But wait…can’t you just go down to a Build a Bear Workshop and construct the perfect cuddle buddy to your exact specifications? No! My specialized program will turn you into an expert cuddler capable of holding any man. You will:
Learn the best clothing options for cuddling. Leave your denim jacket in the closet. The best yoga wear from lululemon also makes for excellent cuddle poses.
Recognize the various stages of a man losing all blood flow to an arm. Peach colored is good. Purple arms are bad. Discover new and improved ways to cuddle back! And more!
In my advanced courses we’ll cover the differences between snuggling and cuddling, optimal spooning behavior, and how to keep your hair out of his eyes and mouth.
Can you afford to spend another winter with bad cuddling skills? Tired of spending your nights alone with your stuffed animals and their missing eyes? Take charge of your cuddling life and send an e-mail today!
Act now and you will also receive exotic dark chocolate pairings and complex wines. My state-of-the-art cuddling facility features a fireplace, comfy couch, and plenty of movies. Hot chocolate and stove-top popcorn are also available.
Our lead instructor is 29 years old asian male and has studied cuddling under the tutelage of Zen monks for years. After mastering this craft he has decided to share his talents with others and make this world a warmer, more affectionate place. Toddlers cuddle naturally but somehow over the years we hesitate and grow shy. Past relationships can numb our senses but cuddling defrosts us slowly. Be at peace with the cuddle.
Admissions screenings will occur via e-mail with second-round admissions face-to-face over some good hot chocolate or wine. We realize you have a choice in fine cuddling institutions but appreciate your consideration.
Offer not valid for women who carry their dog in a purse or who believe winter means not shaving your legs for six months. Void in cities where evolution is banned from schools. Offer not valid for emo chicks. You won’t even need to take off your promise ring.
Act now! Send your application to the address on your screen along with a photo to kick off a new winter of expert cuddling!
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WHAT IS THIS FAGGOTRY? DUDE, GET REAL. Cuddling is the worst and should only be done if you’re really cold and need to steal body heat 
Spooning, on the other hand, is fine. Also, QUIT BEGGIN’.
More Info: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/m4w/926403653.html
iPhone Glitch: Automatically Emailing Nudes!
Susan asks:
“Please help! I took my husband’s i-phone and found a raunchy picture of him attached to an e-mail to a woman in his sent e-mail file (a Yahoo account). When I approached him about this (I think that he is cheating on me) he admitted that he took the picture but says that he never sent it to anyone. He claims that he went to the Genius Bar at the local Apple store and they told him that it is an i-phone glitch: that photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent. Has anyone ever heard of this happening? The future of my marriage depends on this answer!”
My favorite part is when someone posted the lyrics to Beyonce’s If I Were A Boy.
Clearly this is a problem that Apple will be looking into. I can’t tell you how many times my iPhone undressed me, took my n00dz and automatically emailed them out to my contacts! RIDICULOUS!!
Random Post #2! (The Strangeness)
shoop da whoop face styrofoam robot!!
SALAME!
I think I need a break from the internet.
‘Thinking Cap’ turns you into a genius
Things that make people successful: natural ability, focus, drive, and hard work, are all things that are kind of tough to come by if you’re lazy and untalented. If only there was a way to become a motivated genius without having to get off the couch! I don’t think that’s asking for too much, do you?
Well, if this “thinking cap” becomes a reality, your dreams will be answered. Using a magnetic coil to send juice to portions of the left side of the brain, researchers claim that they can turn anyone into a savant, improving memory and creativity by incredible amounts. The technique is known as transcranial magnetic simulation, and I look forward to the day when we’ll all be wearing them at the office, getting our brains zapped so we can do our jobs more efficiently. The future!
