Russians make the best music/music videos
Break out the bad sweaters and awkward dance moves and sing along. hope ya’ll enjoy the awkwardness/awesomeness as much as I do.
New Hobbies: Never Too Old
Maybe its because my joints get sore after kids on my block beat me in s-k-a-t-e. Or maybe it’s that I know too many friends getting married/breeding. Perhaps it’s my recent encounters with heartburn; whatever the reasons are I’ve been left feeling old lately. With the recently nice-er weather forecast reminding my bitter long-john wearing ass that Spring isn’t too far away the last thing I want to do is remain in this “mental geriatric” state. So, when I came across this bizarrely inspiring video I just felt the need to share it. If nothing else the internet is a wealth of inspiration on many levels. Here we have a little reminder that you’re never too old or senile to be bad-ass. Enjoy!
Robo Coco(Windup Conan O’Brian Doll)
This Made me smile. Using the insides of a windup tin toy for the body, John Larriva sculpted the head in polymer clay and painted it with acrylic and crafted the hair with wool. LONG LIVE CONAN!
Thank you Complex for documenting the quotes of legends on this sound board!New favorite website alert
BIG BULGE!
![[DSCF5131.jpg]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_20FKCWqHsJ0/S1Ohvak0jtI/AAAAAAAABiE/fxqvUIdMbdQ/s1600/DSCF5131.jpg)
http://bigbulgecollection.blogspot.com/
The sports bulges are the best.
There’s Something In The Air
title: “THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE AIR”
director: VANACHE
Hello Kiddies,
Here’s a little Valentines Day love for you guys to share. From me to you.
Übergeek: How Long Could Luke Survive in a Tauntaun?
from wolfgnards
Since moving to Siberia, I’ve found myself making numerous references to Hoth when discussing the weather with friends. I’ve even learned the Russian word for the snowy planet (Хотх). In other words, it’s pretty cold here (-25/-40).
As these rather geeky conversations progress, they usually include additional Star Wars references, specifially Tauntauns. We always talk about how having a tauntaun jacket must be the warmest thing because it allowed an unconscious Luke to survive the harsh Hoth night until Han could ready a shelter. We were happy to leave it at that.
Wolfgnards couldn’t
So as a result, we have this lovely article where the lovely people of perhaps one of the nerdiest blogs on the internet actually take the time to calculate how long Luke would be able to survive in aforementioned Tauntaun carcass before freezing.
And while it does seem well intentioned and fairly accurate, I do think they error in forgetting to include the variable introduced by Luke’s own body heat, but when it comes to mathematical calculations of the body warmth of science fiction creatures, I’m willing to let this one slide
Philadelphia… We’re Prepared!
City workers have greased poles along South Broad Street in an effort to deter revellers from climbing them during any wild celebrations that might follow a possible Phillies victory tonight.
Street lights, signs, bus shelters and even trees have been coated by a yellowish goo that bears a resemblance to petroleum jelly.
Temporary “No Stopping” signs also have been posted along the thoroughfare warning motorists they could be cited for a violation for stopping between 5:30 p.m and midnight.
Hoping to prevent the damage and looting that followed last year’s World Series victory, police are expected to be out in force tonight if the Phillies clinch the National League title.
At Robinson Luggage, which was looted last year, manager Kevin Roemer said Police Commissioner Charles H. Ramsey had assured Broad Street merchants there would be a stepped up police presence.
“We’re feeling confident about what the police are going to do,” said Roemer, adding the store was taking no special precautions.
“I’m a big Phillies fan,” said Roemer, who, like much of the region has a touch of Phillies fever. “I want to see a repeat. It would be great for the city.”
“If we beat the Yankees [in the World Series] I have no idea what the celebration would be like,” he added, imagining what is not yet a certainty.
The internet is amazing.
A man, a song, a video game collection. What could be better?
(oh, watch out for some man-ass around 2 min in, not sure why but he moons the camera twice, in sync with the song.)
happy saturday
Keith Birthday vs. Russia Part II: Late Night Taxi Arguments
The other night (friday, after the boobie club) I had what was probably one of the most unique, yet retrospectively unnecessary arguments of my entire life. After departing from the club on Friday night, having quite my fill of fun, I began to walk home in what I though was the correct direction (later evidence proved that I was actually going the right way, even though one must not always trust oneself after considerable amounts of drinking).
Once I reached what appeared to be my street (it was), I realized that it was mostly unlit. I do not claim to be some sort of infinitely savvy urban dweller oozing savoir faire, but if there is one thing I’ve learned about traveling through urban environs on foot, it is that it is a big no-no to walk anywhere that lacks streetlights unless you are seven feet tall, extremely muscular and athletic, and armed to the teeth. So as a result, I looked around for alternatives. There wasn’t a bus stop in sight, and even so, I wasn’t entirely sure if they were even running at that hour (to be honest, I wasn’t even sure what time it was, although it did appear the sun was about to start breaking over the horizon). In addition, I had not yet (and still haven’t) ridden the bus in Tomsk, and therefore had little idea as to how the system functioned (although I was informed earlier that evening that it had something to do with getting on, announcing one’s desire to stop at the appropriate time, and then paying as one departed. I found this system to be intimidating and useless because:
- I wasn’t sure what bus to take [they aren't labeled with anything but numbers]
- I had no idea what stop to announce
- I didn’t have bus fare on me, and there was no way a driver was going to break a 500 ruble bill for a 12 ruble bus fare [I wasn't that far gone, you see])
All ridiculously long parentheticals aside (sorry about that), I ruled out the option of the bus. Therefore, there only remained one last option: a taxi. I figured this would be simple enough, there were plenty of legitimate looking taxis about (cars manufactured this century by recognizable makes), my consumption of mildly intoxicating amounts of alcohol convinced me that my knowledge of my address and Russian (ha) would be able to quite efficiently communicate my destination, and I had enough money on me to pay for a taxi.
A Russian Cab (not the one I was in)
So I hailed the next non-threatening cab I saw, and trotted over to the passenger side window. I inquired as to how much it would cost me to travel from my current location to my apartment, and he answered quite clearly «140 Rubles». I thought it a little on the expensive side, but I wasn’t going to argue with a safe trip home. He then drove as taxi drivers do (dangerously and unnecessarily fast) until we stopped outside my apartment. I handed him my bill, and he handed me what I assumed was correct change (think again). I then non-chalantly counted it and realized he had given me but 300 Rubles, and was (in my mind) trying to short me 60 Rubles (about two dollars). Not knowing how the tipping system worked in Russia, I inquired as to why he did not provide me with adequate change. «I don’t have it» he replied, to which I informed him that I did not believe him and that I was not going to get out of the taxi without the change that I expected. So we sat there and argued for a while, he claiming that there wasn’t a way for him to give me the money and me arguing that I thought he wasn’t telling the truth and that he should provide correct change to his patrons (it really was a lot simpler than that, I have no clue how to say «patron», or «change», or even «truth» in Russian. I’m pretty sure I just kept reiterating that I didn’t believe him).
Suddenly, the cabbie put his car into gear and shot off, away from my apartment. Slightly taken aback (really really scared) I asked him where we were off to, and he replied simply «to the store». Upon asking him why, he said «to get money». Simple enough, I suppose, but as far as I knew there were few stores that were going to be open at this hour (then again, I still wasn’t really sure what hour it was). So we pull up to the first store, and he departs from the vehicle and walks up to the door. At first I’m afraid that his main goal is to somehow gather a small army and have them physically remove me from the car and dumped out onto the street to find my own way home, but I see that the store is closed and he can’t get inside. Relieved, I watch him walk back to the car, where he emits a long sigh and drives on, presumably to another store. That store is also closed, so we move on to another. This one is finally open, and he goes inside and gets change from the cashier (this whole serious of events takes place over approximately 15 to 20 minutes, after just a four minute taxi ride). Finally he gives me my change, but we are about three minutes from my apartment. «Get out!» he says, to which I reply I have no intentions of departing the vehicle until I am deposited in front of my apartment (after all, it’s what I paid for) and he drives me back. Our social collision concludes and I safely arrive home.
Upon waking up the next morning, I began to really contemplate what had transpired. Was I a jerk for demanding that he give me correct change, or was he a jerk for not having correct change? Was there anyone who was actually at fault? Did he recognize my accent and as a result label me as an ‘ugly American’? Was I being ignorant? Was I an idiot for arguing in the first place?
I also realized how absolutely absurd it was for him to cart me around while getting the correct denominations with which to pay me back. Then again, it seemed almost noble to me that he was willing to go through so much to provide me with correct change, even though it was probably one of the most frustrating experiences he ever had.
In the way that stories often end, I think we both learned a lesson. I learned that whatever happened in that cab was unique and beautiful, that I will probably never have an experience like that again, and that in the end, it was quite amusing (I also learned that I can argue in Russia at least semi-successfully). I think he learned to carry more change.
STOP! It’s Hammertime
Near the Barbary
This morning, while surfing on Philebrity, I found these awesome camera photo tips from various locations in Philadelphia. And look, you can also see McJAWN’s very own Nose G’s sticker on the far right bottom corner of the stop sign near the Barbary.
Street Rd. & Huntingdon Pike
In the northeast near Nifty Fifties (I personally, like the sticker ones better)
52 Geeks for Geek Week
Sorry, Eric for nearly hitting you with our kickball during our McJAWN Four Square Wednesdays or chalking our name all over the pavements in Rittenhouse Square. But we here at McJAWN love your website; furthermore, we too, are geeks. And for everyone else reading this, if you don’t know Eric (founder of Geekadelphia) or John (founder of Space 1026), well you should, watch this awesome video submission, a compilation of 52-or-53-in-a-leap-year geeks, that was put together for Geek Week. BTW who knew there was such a week.
Human Ingredients Tee looks good, gets you all the babes at the next science fair
For the fashion Geek out there, MySoti has developed this very beautiful “Ingredients” tee featuring all of the chemicals and the amounts that make up beautiful you in timeless. Helvetica on your choice of generic ($20) or American Apparel($25) tee. Wear this to the next geek-populated event and I’m sure you’ll get the appropriate gender to swoon. buy it here
PooTrap Eliminates Poop Bags, Makes Your Dog Look Stupid
This is one of those products that teeters on the fine line between genius inventions and useless gadgets. Regardless of how useful it actually is, I’d say it’s most certainly fashion suicide for your dog.
WTF Cheetah Lady???
“I am tired of eating bloody carcasses and walking through the jungle…I want to eat rice, I want to eat tacos! I want to eat CHINESE FOOD! CHINESE FOOOOD!” -Cheetah Lady
Guilty Pleasure: Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitta
These guys are playing their last few shows EVER, and luckily I had the chance to see them in Brooklyn for free. Most of their music is….um, blase. But, the moment they started playing the quintessential 90s alt rock song (in my opinion) Flagpole Sitta, it was 1998 again and I was in love once more (as was the entire sell out audience, all of whom were singing along). Thanks Harvey, for that four minutes of bliss.
Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitta
Uploaded by FabCure. – Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
The Strangeness: Unknown Preggers and Baby-Nipple-Suckers
This week has been a disturbing week for me. Just Thursday, my co-worker brought up the absurd topic of women going into labor without knowing they were pregnant. I mean, you have to be pretty “big” to begin with, to not know you’re 8 months preggers. And seriously when did contractions became the equivalent pain as diarrhea cramps? I guess some girls got it really easy, so easy as if pregnancy is just another walk in the park. Fuck.
But this morning, I get this crazy text message about a breast-feeding doll. Apparently, a Spanish toy-making company, Berjuan, decided to launch a new doll that makes slurping sounds as the baby is supposedly sucking on nipples. The company designed a special halter top that has a daisy flower covering the girl’s nipple that can be unbuttoned when feeding the doll and re-buttoned afterward, sick. I don’t know if these types of toys should be sold at the local Toys-R-Us, I think it should be sold at the local Spencer… Baby-Nipple-Sucker would be a perfect gift for a friend who has man-bobbies. What kinda girly-man, doesn’t like his nipples sucked?
Awkward Boners!
We, at McJawn, are obviously fans of boners, especially boners all the time. Here’s my new favorite website, AWKWARD BONERS!
You can vote if they’re awkward or understandable.
It’s no Guys With iPhones (NSFW) but still funny.
