This is the first part in a (hopefully) ongoing series in which Keith Birthday will recount some of the more interesting moments of his recent travels through Europe. This post originally appeared on rubpawpress.com
the warehousey exterior of an otherwise famous Berilnese club
We had put on our ‘best threads’. We expected to stand in line; he had heard so much about this ‘awesome warehouse club’ and how it was the ‘best party in Berlin’. Located in East Berlin, near the Friedrichshain district, Panoramabar/Berghain had gained a reputation of being ‘super exclusive and totally rad’. So I had high expectations, as any person would after hearing such praise.
There were four of us, the two girls A. and AK (German), and K. my male traveling companion. I knew A. through my sister and through the internet; they had gone to school together in Germany (sister was an exchange student) and upon hearing that I was going to Berlin, A. took the liberty of becoming my ‘internet friend’ in order that we could establish some contact before I arrived. AK was A’s friend who was visiting from home. Maybe it was the constant switching between German (the Germans and I) Russian (A, K, and I) and English (everyone), but when the four of us had met for drinks earlier, the conversation had felt a little restrained and awkward, so I was slightly skeptical as to how the rest of the night would play out.
It had taken us a while to find the building (massive warehouse) where the club was located. We had encountered what AK had insisted was the Berlin wall (it wasn’t) and numerous drunk folks wandering about looking for the same place, it seems that everybody had been there once before but had absolutely no clue how to find it again, being that ‘a friend had taken me there’. We found it eventually (it was behind and to the left of the hardware superstore).
sweet lo-fi vid of the inside (rare cause they don’t let cams in)
When walking up to the line/bouncer, I expected to find an extremely long line and a very serious list. Instead we saw basically no one, and got in without any major problems. That being said, A insisted that we had come ‘too early’ and that the real party doesn’t start until three of four AM. It was two; I figured we’d stick around long enough in order to see things really ‘get out of hand’.
So we all went to the bar and got really expensive beers/mix drinks. Then we sat around drinking them and making small talk with one another. It seemed as though AK was not having a good time, and was giving off a very distant vibe. It an attempt to avoid further awkwardness, after a few drinks I suggested we go dance, I figured if anything we really didn’t have to talk to each other.
But the music was horrible. Not horrible in the sense that it was annoying/bad/lady gaga but because IT WAS BORING. Imagine this, you are dancing in the club with some attractive people around you who seem to share similar life interests. The music is ‘thumping’ and seems to be approaching that ‘breaking point’ where the whole techno song sorta ‘musically explodes’ and everyone goes crazy/dances emphatically etc. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN. The music would slowly slowly slowly escalate, only to drop off at the moment it should have opened up. It was like blue balls for dancing, it was absolutely infuriating and painful. After about twenty minutes of this, I could no longer handle the situation and decided to head back to the bar side and sit and see if I could establish any contact with girls.
At times I often criticize the Germans for being somewhat of a reserved people when it comes to their social habits, and in this scenario I truly believed that this trait was manifested within this music.
Upon sitting back down in the bar area, I began the usual ‘scoping out of babes’ that anyone in a club situation would do. I was feeling especially confident of my German that day, being that I had a chance to warm it up earlier. I was ready to engage some attractive person in their native tongue. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait very long being that the cute girl sitting next to me near the bar immediately engaged me in conversation.
‘you look bored.’
‘that’s because I am bored, I really think this music is terrible’
‘yeah, it’s not that great, but it’s better on other nights. Are you from Berlin?’
‘no, I’m not.’
‘so what do you do? Which university do you study at?’
‘I actually am done studying, I actually teach English in Russia.’
‘So you’re Russian?’
‘No I’m American…’
and so the small talk went on. As it progressed, I started to notice certain habits about this girl that struck me as odd. She was talking a lot, very intensely and extremely fast. She also hardly seemed to listen to any word I was saying. Eventually things took an even weirder turn.
‘so what do you study in Berlin?’
‘oh, I used to study psychology, but now I study law.’
‘why such the big change?’
‘because all of my friends were studying psychology in order to self treat themselves, after a while it got really stressful to have to deal with friends with so many problems. You see, most of them had serious personal issues. I’d say about half of them were cutters with lots and lots of scars on their arms, I actually had to move out of my apartment because I couldn’t deal with my roommate always appearing with fresh cuts, I mean really fresh.’
‘Holy s___ that’s insane.’
‘yeah and those that didn’t have cutting problems had eating disorders, I had so many bulimic friends that our shared toilets started having serious corrosion problems.’
‘wow, I’m sorry.’
‘oh, it’s okay, I’m fine. I have to go now, but it was nice talking to you.’
And then she and her friends left. This had all happened so quickly that I couldn’t really wrap my head around it for a few minutes. This wasn’t typical German behavior, she had engaged me in conversation, had showed little sign of social inhibition and then went on to tell me about some very serious issues she had going on in her life. I didn’t even know her name. I was seriously confused.
Keith Birthday vs. Russia part V – Berlin: This Club is Legend/Disappointing Music/Grrrlz on E?
This is the first part in a (hopefully) ongoing series in which Keith Birthday will recount some of the more interesting moments of his recent travels through Europe. This post originally appeared on rubpawpress.com
the warehousey exterior of an otherwise famous Berilnese club
We had put on our ‘best threads’. We expected to stand in line; he had heard so much about this ‘awesome warehouse club’ and how it was the ‘best party in Berlin’. Located in East Berlin, near the Friedrichshain district, Panoramabar/Berghain had gained a reputation of being ‘super exclusive and totally rad’. So I had high expectations, as any person would after hearing such praise.
There were four of us, the two girls A. and AK (German), and K. my male traveling companion. I knew A. through my sister and through the internet; they had gone to school together in Germany (sister was an exchange student) and upon hearing that I was going to Berlin, A. took the liberty of becoming my ‘internet friend’ in order that we could establish some contact before I arrived. AK was A’s friend who was visiting from home. Maybe it was the constant switching between German (the Germans and I) Russian (A, K, and I) and English (everyone), but when the four of us had met for drinks earlier, the conversation had felt a little restrained and awkward, so I was slightly skeptical as to how the rest of the night would play out.
It had taken us a while to find the building (massive warehouse) where the club was located. We had encountered what AK had insisted was the Berlin wall (it wasn’t) and numerous drunk folks wandering about looking for the same place, it seems that everybody had been there once before but had absolutely no clue how to find it again, being that ‘a friend had taken me there’. We found it eventually (it was behind and to the left of the hardware superstore).
sweet lo-fi vid of the inside (rare cause they don’t let cams in)
When walking up to the line/bouncer, I expected to find an extremely long line and a very serious list. Instead we saw basically no one, and got in without any major problems. That being said, A insisted that we had come ‘too early’ and that the real party doesn’t start until three of four AM. It was two; I figured we’d stick around long enough in order to see things really ‘get out of hand’.
So we all went to the bar and got really expensive beers/mix drinks. Then we sat around drinking them and making small talk with one another. It seemed as though AK was not having a good time, and was giving off a very distant vibe. It an attempt to avoid further awkwardness, after a few drinks I suggested we go dance, I figured if anything we really didn’t have to talk to each other.
But the music was horrible. Not horrible in the sense that it was annoying/bad/lady gaga but because IT WAS BORING. Imagine this, you are dancing in the club with some attractive people around you who seem to share similar life interests. The music is ‘thumping’ and seems to be approaching that ‘breaking point’ where the whole techno song sorta ‘musically explodes’ and everyone goes crazy/dances emphatically etc. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN. The music would slowly slowly slowly escalate, only to drop off at the moment it should have opened up. It was like blue balls for dancing, it was absolutely infuriating and painful. After about twenty minutes of this, I could no longer handle the situation and decided to head back to the bar side and sit and see if I could establish any contact with girls.
At times I often criticize the Germans for being somewhat of a reserved people when it comes to their social habits, and in this scenario I truly believed that this trait was manifested within this music.
Upon sitting back down in the bar area, I began the usual ‘scoping out of babes’ that anyone in a club situation would do. I was feeling especially confident of my German that day, being that I had a chance to warm it up earlier. I was ready to engage some attractive person in their native tongue. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait very long being that the cute girl sitting next to me near the bar immediately engaged me in conversation.
‘you look bored.’
‘that’s because I am bored, I really think this music is terrible’
‘yeah, it’s not that great, but it’s better on other nights. Are you from Berlin?’
‘no, I’m not.’
‘so what do you do? Which university do you study at?’
‘I actually am done studying, I actually teach English in Russia.’
‘So you’re Russian?’
‘No I’m American…’
and so the small talk went on. As it progressed, I started to notice certain habits about this girl that struck me as odd. She was talking a lot, very intensely and extremely fast. She also hardly seemed to listen to any word I was saying. Eventually things took an even weirder turn.
‘so what do you study in Berlin?’
‘oh, I used to study psychology, but now I study law.’
‘why such the big change?’
‘because all of my friends were studying psychology in order to self treat themselves, after a while it got really stressful to have to deal with friends with so many problems. You see, most of them had serious personal issues. I’d say about half of them were cutters with lots and lots of scars on their arms, I actually had to move out of my apartment because I couldn’t deal with my roommate always appearing with fresh cuts, I mean really fresh.’
‘Holy s___ that’s insane.’
‘yeah and those that didn’t have cutting problems had eating disorders, I had so many bulimic friends that our shared toilets started having serious corrosion problems.’
‘wow, I’m sorry.’
‘oh, it’s okay, I’m fine. I have to go now, but it was nice talking to you.’
And then she and her friends left. This had all happened so quickly that I couldn’t really wrap my head around it for a few minutes. This wasn’t typical German behavior, she had engaged me in conversation, had showed little sign of social inhibition and then went on to tell me about some very serious issues she had going on in her life. I didn’t even know her name. I was seriously confused.
Then I realized she was probably on Ecstasy.