I Survived to Tell The Tale…

…barely. (hey, someone has to nag a bit and I’m ok with it being me.)

So last night, as you all know, the city ate itself. If you have a mom like mine, she was texting you all night to stay indoors cause she was watching the news in a panic, terrified to see you getting launched into a paddywagon by the men in black. At first, I thought she was being ridiculous. I mean, everyone around me seemed happy. I hugged at least a hundred people I’ve never seen before. Everyone was smiling and yelling nonsense and ripping off their shirts. There was sheer, drunken joy all over the city and it was glorious. I got shots poured in my mouth, Coyote Ugly-style. I shared a beer with a cop. Holy crap, this kind of stuff doesn’t even go down on New Years.

It was the best time I’ve ever had in my two and a half years here, hands down. I finally experienced this brotherly love I’ve heard so much about. Thousands of people and we were all elated and we were freaking losing our minds. It did feel like New Years a bit after all. A year that lasted for 25 with a party fit for it. I come to find that this was only because the agro-crowd hadn’t hit Walnut yet.

Then someone starting breaking things. Then people joined in. Then they lit things on fire. Then I nearly got face-f**ked by a beer bottle at full speed. Then the SWAT showed up (in a school bus, nonetheless) with tear gas and night sticks. Party over. Go Home. Call your mom.

Somehow, a 25 year release/celebration turned into a scary night. This had nothing to do with baseball or fun anymore. It was drunk people smashing things for the hell of it. Fist fights and flipping cars and throwing bricks through windows ( poor Cop Shop ). I thought Rodney King came to town or something. Look, I’m not trying to be a party pooper here, but I just don’t get it. Why act like animals and destroy the very city were in the midst of being so proud of? Why are you burning that tree? We won. (By the way, I’m so pissed at that. There’s like, three trees on Broad Street. Cmon.) This was such a positive thing for this city that turned ugly and violent. Honestly, I’m a bit embarrassed. Its a huge disrespect to the people who live and run their business here just like the rest of us and a messed-up way to treat your neighbors.

For the parade tomorrow, let’s hug it out and try not throw things at my house or head. Keep up the “I love you, man” vibe and not so much of the “let’s burn this mother down.”